life in a mess
i feel so tired so stressed. money, studies, r/s etc....i'm slowly dying fr it.
money... i haf barely enuf 2 spend for a mth. but now my hp is spoilt. the sliding part of the casing for the camera does not function le. and 1 casing cost 100plus. and my SIM card, it has broken into half. gettin a new sim card cost 30bucks. in total 2 make my hp needs abt 150 bucks. fuck... where do i get tis money??? each mth, i haf juz enuf 2 eat, dun even haf extra money 2 buy clothes not 2 say savings for rainy days.
studies...project is killing me. i duno anything, dun understand a single bit. my frenz r helpin me but i feel so bad cos they haf their share to do. i fell so useless. i'm not gd in programming. my supervisor doesn't teach us. if we do wrongly she will juz scold us instaed of pointing out our mistake. its my last sem in sch. but i'm afarid i'll haf 2 repeat another yr. juz dun feel like studyin anymore.
r/s....sometimes i wonder, did i make a mistake in the 1st pl.at times i feel juz like a bloody fool. he everytime tell me if sianz den dun come his hse. but if i dun come, we will nvr meet each other de. but when i go, sometimes i feel borin.. he will do his things (watch his vcd,play his game etc) for whole day n nite..he thinks tat as long as we r near its means accompanying. mayb it is but occasionally i do need him 2 do things 2gather wif me.there's 1 thing i wanna say...I M NOT SOME1 WHO GOES AFTER MONEY!!! when i tell him say, i acc him at hm so tat i can help him in saving money, he say i'm tryin 2 b wei da. but when i ask him go out, he say no money. haiz.. he ask me help him sell things. i say ok and ask him abt the market price so i can fetch a higer price for him if possible. but guess wat he say ...he say he is afraid i sell at a higher price but tell him i sell lower price and the difference i pocket it myself. thanx lor... he ask me 2 help but suspect me at the same time. argh..... duno how 2 pls him. wif him for 7mths but i only bought things twice when we go out. he spend n bought more den me. n yet he thinks i'm such person.i save n sometimes go on empty stomach 2 help him save...haha but tis is wat i get in return. i dun need him appreciate but i oso dun need him 2 think till like tis. mayb he is juz joking and dun mean it but it hurts 2 hear tis.i know he will say i cant take joke but...watever, i m juz lousy la.
i'm really goin mad le. common test in 2 weeks time n fuck...my life is in such a mess. sometimes i juz feel like givin up on everythin. studies, r/s etc...goin out 2 work n earn money n buy things 2 pamper myself. i juz hope tat some1 cld invent some medicine where u eat n u forget everything....
The Only One...