respect my thinking
sometimes i juz dun understand y when ppl ask for my comments/advice/opinions and yet dun accept it. y mus they put their ideas into my thinking when its supposed 2 b wat i think n feel. there's no rite or wrong cos its my comments/advice/opinions. i tell them wat i feel n think in my perspective, in my pt of view. but y muz they argue back n say i m wrong. den wats the pt of askin me. and since they haf made up their mind, den dun ask cos no matter wat i say they'll still choose wat they want in the 1 st place. if they cant accept my comments/advice/opinions other then their own thinkin den they shouldn't ask. will they feel better when they ask me n den say its wrong. they can choose 2 heed or not 2. but y criticise my thinkin. den when i keep quiet, they want me 2 say sth...argh!!!! tired...
The Only One...
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
napfa
meet outside sch bus stop at 9am today. then went to hear a talk by NTU till 12plus noon. was so hungry halfway thru the talk but haf to endure till 12plus then can eat. damn!!! and by the time eat, me got gastric le... wat the hack!!! anyway the talk by NTU was quite informative. the talks were abt engrr courses. they say till as thou poly grads can easily enter NTU. but i doubt so la. they say wat poly engrr grads can directly enter 2nd yr or b exempted for certain modules. haha... even thou i wish i cld get in but i think all these r mainly for those poly grads wif COM or distinctions or some other awards. fat hopes for some1 like me. think for me, the most can only end up in uniSIM. but thats gd enuf for me ready.haha...dun expect 2 much, b contented if i cld get a deg in uniSIM. least they r now considered 1 of the uni in sg. the 4th uni in sg.
after lunch, went back class. we still haf abt 1 and half hrs more 2 go b4 napfa test start. well, had lots of "fun" wif the gals in class. as usual, we will talk n laugh non stop. each of us taking turns to crack jokes. simply luv these gals, they nvr fail 2 make me laugh n brighten up my day. sometimes i go sch juz for the sake of hanging out wif them even thou i dread goin sch durin project day. as for my gastric pain, it lessen as time pass. n when its finally 2.30, the pain is gone. amazing... went did our 5 stations 1st. we dun aim for any awards, we only aim for juz a pass which is E or rather juz 1 pt in every station.standing board jump:171, sit n reach:42, shuttle run:12.08, situp:27, pull up:8....i pass all my 5 stations...but when it comes to 2.4 run, me failed... thou i completed 6 rounds but i got a freaking 18.something min.....and the passin time was 17min...argh!!!! i tot i can put all my best in tis napfa n complete it once n for all. but... haiz... duno whether haf 2 retake or not. i totally sux in 2.4 run...me felt like vomitting after the run. whole body turn cold. felt very giddy 2. like any moment cld pass out.
now my whold body is aching. muscle cramps at every part of my body. gonna rest le...
The Only One...
tell me!!!
how do u tell when some1 doesn't luv u anymore??? will he get angry easily? will he shout at u even at the slightest thing? will he shout vulgarities at u? will he say things tat hurt u? wil he dun even gif u a damn? wil he contanstly ask 4 a breakup? will he set datelines 4 u and when u cant do it within the dateline, he will leave u?will he blame u 4 almost all the things, blame u whenever both of u quarrelled? will he dun even care abt ur whereabouts and wat u r doin? wil he nvr once say u r beautiful 2 him? wil he nvr once wipe away ur tears for u? will he say he dun feel like listenin when u wana talk 2 him or tell him sth? wil he say wat u say r all craps n rubbish?
tell me.....some1 pls tell me....
---*** audrey lost her way ***---
The Only One...
Monday, September 25, 2006
xiang hui dao guo qu
went watch the banquet juz now. a show tat all the main characters die. a slow n "steamy" show. no harm watchin but money can b valued for better shows.
when i look into his eyes juz now, the sparkle in his eyes n the enthu in him have all disappear.i cant find anything in him tat i can proudly say its mine. i cant seem 2 find those affectionate stare in his eyes.
when k broke off, i lost all confidence in luv. it took me a very long time 2 pick up all the broken pieces he left behind. juz as i finish pickin, x came along n within 1 mth, he left me wif tears for me 2 wipe off alone. after tat, so much tussles happen. i'm forced 2 choose between frens. eventually i chose him. i did not habour much hope den. i was prepared for rejection but things happen when i least expected it. eventually we got together till nw. but nw i m prepairing for the worst again. he may leave any min. i juz feel so hopeless. i'm juz so useless. y will i haf 2 pick up those broken pieces again? we talk abt marriage, we nearly went 2 apply for hdb. almost on the verge of marry. n yet once again it will b gone. how many times muz i fail inorder for me 2 succeed? my heart aches...i feel so hurt. he has changed.he may break off anytime. i'm so scared. i live in constant fear everyday. i cant even slp peacefully everynite. sometimes in the middle of the nite, i will wake up in cold sweat. i dun wanna go thru all these.its 2 much for me 2 take.i regretted not listenin 2 my frenz n fell 2 deep.now its so hard 4 me 2 climb up again.....rite now i'm listenin 2 the song "xiang hui dao guo qu". i really wish i cld turn back time.
The Only One...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
my tears
sometimes i wonder... did i make the wrong decision???i wonder if i nvr told him, will i b much happier now? i cried more then i smiled. my eyes are very pain. i cried till my eyes bleed. i wish i cld stop crying. is everything fated? y is fate so cruel then? i don't wanna lock myself up in my room n cry den go out n face my frenz n family happily like nth happen 2 me each time. my eyes swell badly each time i cry sometimes till i cant even open. he nvr once comfort me.i cried cos of him but ended up i'm the 1 wiping my own tears. sometimes even thou he knew i was crying, he still say hurtful things 2 me. juz because he thinks i'm not gd enuf, juz because i cant b the type of gf he wants me 2 b, juz because i cant do wat he wants me 2 do. does he luv me for who i m or does he luv me for who he wants me 2 b? i tot he luvs me but each time he say those hurtful things, those really hurtful things any1 cld say 2 their gf, i'd pause n wonder do he really luv me. mayb i'm really a bad gf, mayb i'm really not gd enuf for him, mayb i cant hit his expectations but i dun think tis is oso the way 2 treat a gf. some ppl told me my tears are precious, n it hurts them seeing me cry. but 2 him my tears r juz any ordinary water. y do i n y muz i cry in silence each time. y m i so weak? y cant i b strong? i tot i haf learn 2 b strong but... i juz wana stop crying. i juz wana smile again.i'm so tired. sometimes when i slp n when i dreamt of us happily together in my dreams, i refuse 2 wake up, i refuse to leave the dream cos mayb only in dreams den we'll b happily together. let me slp forever!!!
The Only One...
Friday, September 22, 2006
np zouk nite out
went zouk last nite wif my poly frenz...abt 5 gals and abt 10plus guys. did not really enjoy mayb because i was tired. went sch in the morning den went for a jog in the noon after that went home prepare then went out meet the gals go orchard relac. went zouk ard 11pm. well it was damn crowded. crowded till u cant even stand peacefully. went hm ard 2plus..b4 leaving, we saw a guy vomitted till like nobody's business. think his 3days food all vomitted out le. after vomitting he lie down on his vomit.he totally drunk n knock out le..yucks!!!
At orchard:
At Zouk:
Our chop:
dearie came back fr his long sailin 2day. hmmm i feel a lil funny. its like sth is missing, sth is nt rite..i duno but i juz haf tis funny feelin. mayb its cos 2 long nvr c him le. or mayb we r use 2 quarrelin le. den now suddenly like everything go well so i feel tis way.went meet him 4 dinner. till 11plus. anyway hope we haf better days ahead ba..hope all those quarrelin will stop ba..
The Only One...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
malaysia
juz came back from malaysia today. went on sat morning. hmmm its been long since i went shopping. therefore bought quite a few things there. me bought a pair or shoe, 2 shorts(those that could b worn out 2 orchard),3 tops, a bodyshop perfume, a coin pouch...bought for dearie a card holder, a liverpool tag plate and snacks...wanted to buy his liverpool jersey for him de. but its more expensive in malaysia. so think i'm gonna get it in sg instead. bought ear rings for my 3 gal frenz... now i'm back broke....
result came out last fri. haiz...its getting worser n worser each semester... last time use to have As..... not even a single As!!! and my GPA sux 2 the core....less den 2.5...i use to get 3.something n above....damn it!!! all thanx to project...all thanx to my project supervisor....givin us a C in a 8 credit module. n it fucking drag all our grades down.wonder y does she still exist in this world???cant believe that our(me n my frenz) 3 yrs in poly, she is the only lecturer that we hated so much, tat we nearly slap her.argh annoying bitch. still haf 2 face her for another sem.
dearie will only b back tis fri but can only come out on sat mornin..sianz ah... nvr c him for 2 weeks le...haiz!!! all cos of his long sail..thou we got contact thru callin n sms this 1 week, but i still miss him...quick quick quick come back!!!
The Only One...
Friday, September 15, 2006
blood group
BLOOD GROUP O
In a nutshell:
- Cannot stand people who hide the truth
Basic Behavior:
- Make objectives clear
- Possess great deal of confidence
- Honest, optimistic and energetic
Tolerance:
- Strength and endurance depend on their aim
- Give up easily if they find the job meaningless
How do they see their future and past?
- Positive about the past, thus do not regret about the past
- Seek financial stability for the future
How do they express their emotions?
- Usually stable and calm
- Sensitive towards sincerity
- Give frank, direct opinions
How do they work?
- Ability to concentrate vary from time to time, depending on aim
- Mostly prefer to lead
- Can overlook details
BLOOD GROUP A
In a nutshell:
- Pessimistic and too sensitive
Basic Behavior:
- Careful about decision-making
- Make things clear in black and white
- Care too much about social rules and standards
Tolerance:
- High tolerance for physical or repetitive work
- Cannot take changes easily
- Lose interest in a hobby easily
How do they see their future and past?
- Try hard to forget the past
- Pessimistic about the future
How do they express their emotions?
- Able to display cool outlook even though angry
- Short-tempered
- Take longer to heal a broken heart
- Sensitive to others' opinions
How do they work?
- Perfectionist
- Handle one thing at a time
- Work a line between work and personal affairs
- Highly responsible
- Tend to choose hobbies which help them release stress
BLOOD GROUP B
In a nutshell:
- Cannot take orders easily
Basic Behavior:
- Make decisions fast
- Can be flexible
- Do not care about rules
- Respect scientific and practical findings
Tolerance:
- Maintain the longest interest in what they do
- Seem impatient
- Dislike repetitious work
How do they see their future and past?
- Hard to forget recent affairs, but able to forget past and memories
How do they express their emotions?
- Expressive
- Cool and objective
- Although joke a lot, could actually be very shy
- Change moods like the weather
- Cannot stop complaining when they are upset
How do they work?
- Creative and possess new ideas
- Cannot differentiate between work and hobby
- Cannot take orders
- Do not hesitate to introduce innovative changes and are not worried about theirs criticisms
BLOOD GROUP AB
In a nutshell:
- Romantic and sentimental
Basic Behavior:
- Extremely practical
- Excellent in analyses
- Give fair criticisms
- Cannot decide when it comes to important issues
Tolerance:
- Try to be hard-working
- Tend to be impatient
How do they see their future and past?
- Sentimental about the past
- More concern about the immediate problems than anything else
How do they express their emotions?
- Sentimental
- Usually cool and steady, but can get upset with an immediate, unsolved problem
- Can get moody easily
How do they work?
- Able to handle a wide scope of jobs
- Value hard work
- Quick in understanding
- Not highly responsible and unable to follow-up on a project until its completion
- Tend to be artistic in approach
The Only One...
Monday, September 11, 2006
ours
Mine
Does your name begin with: A
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
MARCH
Attractive personality
Affectionate
Shy and reserved
Secretive
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
Loves peace and serenity
Sensitive to others
Loves to serve others
Not easily angered
Trustworthy
Appreciative and returns kindness
Observant and assess others
Revengeful
Revengeful
Loves to dream and fantasize
Loves travelling
Loves attention
Hasty decisions in choosing partners
Loves home decors
Musically talented
Loves special things
Moody
Aries:
Turn ons
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they have affinity for such people too . You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. Remember they leave tortoises and snails way behind without even glancing at them once. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self that is no pretenses (but don`t try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with Ram then you have to show your enthusiasm in all there activities (you can always yawn later!).
Aries are naturally active and vibrant people and they have affinity for such people too . You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. Remember they leave tortoises and snails way behind without even glancing at them once. They like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. With them you can be your true self that is no pretenses (but don`t try your luck being over frank-they are volatile). If you are in love with Ram then you have to show your enthusiasm in all there activities (you can always yawn later!).
Turn offs
Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong lest you may stir a storm in a teacup. But instead do what you feel is right and of course do not take the credit for the work done well. Aries people are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smoldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtations or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Do not tell an Aries that s/he may be wrong lest you may stir a storm in a teacup. But instead do what you feel is right and of course do not take the credit for the work done well. Aries people are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not give air to the smoldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtations or fooling around with others in their presence unless of course you wish to write your death wish (you will be granted!).
Dear
Does your name begin with: R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
OCTOBER
Loves to chat
Loves those who loves him
Loves to takes things at the centre
Attractive and suave
Inner and physical beauty
Does not lie or pretend
Sympathetic
Treats friends importantly
Always making friends
Easily hurt but recovers easily
Bad tempered
Selfish
Seldom helps unless asked
Daydreamer
Very opinionated
Does not care of what others think
Emotional
Decisive
Strong clairvoyance
Loves to travel, the arts and literature
Soft-spoken, loving and caring
Romantic
Touchy and easily jealous
Concerned
Loves outdoors
Just and fair
Spendthrift and easily influenced
Easily lose confidence
Scorpio:
Turn ons
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music in life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
Scorpio's are full of passion and zest for life. They have tremendous drive that can involve you too. Tune in to their wavelength and you can enjoy the harmony and music in life with them. Scorpio's are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. If you want to enjoy life with your Scorpio lover share their passion and intensity and you will be fascinated by how beautiful life can be with them.
Turn offs
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio`s have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
Scorpio's are very passionate and intense but they are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let seeds of jealousy grow in them because then you may have to suffer agonies of jealousy and discontentment in life. Scorpio`s have explosive tempers be careful how you handle them. They never let anyone know what is going on in their mind till they strike and you may be caught unawares. Do not flirt around in the presence of your Scorpio lover.
The Only One...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
tears
he left for sailing tis noon. a 2 weeks sailing, and will be back on the 22nd but on the 22nd he has duty so on the 23rd then can go home. we quarrelled the nite b4 he went sailin, which is on a sat nite. can consider quite major. and it is almost abt the same thing. even b4 he went sailin, we still haf 2 quarrel. its like only a few more hrs left b4 he sail for 2 weeks. i'm so tired.... sometimes i wonder did i make the wrong choice? if i haf made the wrong choice den when wld i make the rite choice? if its the wrong choice, den y m i always making the wrong choice..i wana smile, i wana hear my laughter again. i wana b happy...instead i cried again! but...yet again he did not wipe away my tears. not once did he ever wipe away my tears n lend me his shoulders. not once did he ever console me. he wanted me 2 solve tat prob n if i did not, sad things wld happen. thou we did make peace after tat but...i'm feelin so afraid n threaten now. acc him till tis mornin 7plus den he send me hm. well duno when will he contact me..juz wana ask him 2 take care n haf a safe journey to and fro.
The Only One...
Monday, September 04, 2006
i'm lousy
i'm a lousy gf, a lousy fren, a lousy daughter, a lousy person....i'm juz some1 useless. all i juz want is to love n b love...but it seems so far fetched...i just wish i cld close my eyes 4ever.
The Only One...
Saturday, September 02, 2006
argh.....
exams juz ended last week, on the 24th of aug...results will b out on the 15th of sept...most probably i'll fail. duno y but i juz dun haf the confidence of passing. not only in exams but in alot of other things, i also dun haf the confidence in it. thou exams r over, n it shd b sch holis, but i still haf 2 go back to sch everyday for VPP(vocational porject programe). its for final yr students. we haf 2 go back to do our final yr project. really regretted chosing project. i rather choose attachment if i know it'll b soooo difficult n tiring. we haf to go back everyday fr 8-5, mon-fri. since VPP started, i dun haf enuf rest each day not 2 say enjoy myself after exam. everyday after VPP, at nite i still haf 2 do my VPP homework which is programming. basically i feel tat my life is so meaningless now. everything is like a routine. on weekend when i met up wif dear, we quarrel, sometimes even over small n stupid matters.he push the blame on me n i push it onhim....y y y??? wen r we gonna get better??? i'm so stressed up. other den VPP, every week, we need 2 exercise for 2 days 2 train for nafpha. n its compulsory fr 3-5. and we also need 2 go for industrial visit and listen 2 talks. argh.....my life is packed wif all these rubbish. i dun haf my own free time 2 enjoy, 2 slp, 2 play.y cant they award us wif the holis after the exam???we r humans 2. we need 2 enjoy and catch up wif wat we love 2 do.sometimes i wonder, if i did not stray bad durin sec 2 onwards, wld my life b better now? r there any remedies for regrets?my life now totally sux...there's alot of nice movies recently. n alot of them, i wanna watch but time dun allow. its either i'm busy wif sch or he is busy wif work or we r tired n lazy 2 go.juz hate my life now...
The Only One...