how much can i miss a person?
i miss dear... supposed 2 meet him 2day. everything was arranged perfectly but half n hr b4 we our scheduled time, he called 2 say he's lazy 2 come meet me. haa..imagine how i felt upon hearing those words. he cld say he miss me n yet he is lazy 2 meet me. i was lost 4 words after hearing wat he say. tears juz flow fr my eyes. even now while bloggin, i'm cryin at the same time. lost count of how many times i've cried 4 him le. envy my frenz, seeing them happily wif their bf.they haf very lovin bfs. sometimes i wish dear cld treat me better. i wish he wun shout at me when he is angry 2 the extend tat he shout vulgarities. i tried my best 2 b the gf he wants but each time i failed.he nvr appreciate things i did 4 him. took it 4 granted instead. he doesn't know sometimes i'm cryin 4 him, anyway he wun believe tat i cried 4 him la.duno y its juz so difficult in loving him. he is my bf but tis few weeks whenever i wan ask him out, b it go shoppin, watch movie, haf a simple dinner or juz 2 c him, i haf 2 like "book him". its like i haf 2 queue up juz 2 c him. and i oso muz b prepared tat he will cancel it last min like few min b4 we meet up. tis is not the 1st time tat he so call put my aeroplane.
he hurt me alot but he doesn't know. and i dun dare 2 tell him. cos i know i cant tell him, wun haf chance 2 tell him how i feel. cos dear gets irritated easily and gets worked up and angry easily 2.if i tell him how i feel n how he hurt me, it will only make us quarrel. den in the end, i haf 2 keep quiet and hear him say me tis bad tat bad. every day n nite i can only c his pic, cos i cant get 2 c him. haha ppl may think y so funny. y muz c his pic? cos i miss him but i cant get 2 c him so can only c his pic. n whenever i c his pic i'll cry cos there's so much thing in me tat i wana tell him but was nvr given a chance.duno how long more will i haf 2 c his pic b4 i cant get 2 c him in person. somemore tis few weeks he has alot of sailing plus world cup is goin on. the time we spend together is getting lesser n lesser. i miss our 1st 1 mth...really miss our 1st 1 mth...i wish time cld stop at tat time. we were like inseperable..so close till like nth cld break us apart. n the feeling was like if who break us up, both of us cld die. and if we nvr meet for 1 day, we cld die 2.really miss tat feeling. tat lovin feelin fr dear.know it wun b comin back again.juz hope tat we will haf better days ahead.miss dear's "tian yan mi yu" 2...been awhile since he say he luv me, miss me n wana hug me...
in my mind, its all abt dear..but on his mind, i mayb only occupy a small portion. i'm waiting 4 him everyday. it gets real tired sometimes, but i juz endure.cos i luv him 2 much 2 let go. tis few nites, i've been helpin him keep track of scores at nite so tat when i call him up for work in the mornin, he cld haf 1st hand result. no matter wat time he does duty or need 2 wake up for work, i'll call him up. even thou i'm tired or not tired, i'll make sure i call him up at watever time he wans. n i do tis willingly. but dear dun appreciate. yesterday when i call him up, he juz say orh n ask abt the score n hang up the fone le. nvr even ask m i tired..haha but i dun blame him.afterall he is my dear. if i dun call him up, i still can call who up.
there's a sayin: the second you r willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, thats love right there...haiz.. if dear's happy tis way, guess i'll endure everythin even thou i'm miserable and sad. cos i want him 2 b happy, i want him 2 smile, i want the best in everything 4 him. cos dear, i luv u very much..n i miss u very much 2
The Only One...