tired!!!
nth gd n nice 2 blog abt these few days...my life juz sux now... i'm juz so tired...emotionally n physically...juz wana vanished n get lost in some unknown world...dun think i deserve all these..
The Only One...
Friday, June 16, 2006
our 2 mths
today, 16-06-06, is me and dearie 2 mths anniversary... juz wana wish dearie a happy 2 mths anniversary!!! hehe... and i'm still loving u soooooo much.
cant b wif him 2day cos he is havin duty...my poor dearie, yesterday sailing den today continue wif duty...haha but i'm gonna c him tmr. he comin 2 fetch me after his work in the mornin. and we r gonna spend the whole day and nite 2gather till sun mornin b4 he goes for his soccer match...cant wait for tmr 2 come....
The Only One...
Thursday, June 15, 2006
smile
meet dearie 2day. after 4 days nvr c him, me finally saw him 2day. miss him so much. so happy 2 c him. he came fetch me after work cos he today half day den we head 2 his hse. we slack at his hm for abt 2 hrs b4 goin tampinese mall watch the movie slither..eeeeeeeeeeeee!!! its a very gross show... do not watch it after a heavy meal. the show is abt 2 hrs. after the show, dearie send me hm, den he rush hm watch soccer. haiz....tmr dearie goin sailin. den on fri he has duty..cant c him for 2 days..fri is our 2mths anniversary. bought him a tshirt n gave it 2 him juz now. but haf 2 bring back 2 the shop 2 change cos its a lil 2 big for him. i'm lookin forward to tis sat..haha cos i'll be spendin the whold day n nite wif dearie till sun morning b4 he goes for his soccer game, he'll send me hm.hope everything goes smoothly...counting down...missin dearie
The Only One...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
how much can i miss a person?
i miss dear... supposed 2 meet him 2day. everything was arranged perfectly but half n hr b4 we our scheduled time, he called 2 say he's lazy 2 come meet me. haa..imagine how i felt upon hearing those words. he cld say he miss me n yet he is lazy 2 meet me. i was lost 4 words after hearing wat he say. tears juz flow fr my eyes. even now while bloggin, i'm cryin at the same time. lost count of how many times i've cried 4 him le. envy my frenz, seeing them happily wif their bf.they haf very lovin bfs. sometimes i wish dear cld treat me better. i wish he wun shout at me when he is angry 2 the extend tat he shout vulgarities. i tried my best 2 b the gf he wants but each time i failed.he nvr appreciate things i did 4 him. took it 4 granted instead. he doesn't know sometimes i'm cryin 4 him, anyway he wun believe tat i cried 4 him la.duno y its juz so difficult in loving him. he is my bf but tis few weeks whenever i wan ask him out, b it go shoppin, watch movie, haf a simple dinner or juz 2 c him, i haf 2 like "book him". its like i haf 2 queue up juz 2 c him. and i oso muz b prepared tat he will cancel it last min like few min b4 we meet up. tis is not the 1st time tat he so call put my aeroplane.
he hurt me alot but he doesn't know. and i dun dare 2 tell him. cos i know i cant tell him, wun haf chance 2 tell him how i feel. cos dear gets irritated easily and gets worked up and angry easily 2.if i tell him how i feel n how he hurt me, it will only make us quarrel. den in the end, i haf 2 keep quiet and hear him say me tis bad tat bad. every day n nite i can only c his pic, cos i cant get 2 c him. haha ppl may think y so funny. y muz c his pic? cos i miss him but i cant get 2 c him so can only c his pic. n whenever i c his pic i'll cry cos there's so much thing in me tat i wana tell him but was nvr given a chance.duno how long more will i haf 2 c his pic b4 i cant get 2 c him in person. somemore tis few weeks he has alot of sailing plus world cup is goin on. the time we spend together is getting lesser n lesser. i miss our 1st 1 mth...really miss our 1st 1 mth...i wish time cld stop at tat time. we were like inseperable..so close till like nth cld break us apart. n the feeling was like if who break us up, both of us cld die. and if we nvr meet for 1 day, we cld die 2.really miss tat feeling. tat lovin feelin fr dear.know it wun b comin back again.juz hope tat we will haf better days ahead.miss dear's "tian yan mi yu" 2...been awhile since he say he luv me, miss me n wana hug me...
in my mind, its all abt dear..but on his mind, i mayb only occupy a small portion. i'm waiting 4 him everyday. it gets real tired sometimes, but i juz endure.cos i luv him 2 much 2 let go. tis few nites, i've been helpin him keep track of scores at nite so tat when i call him up for work in the mornin, he cld haf 1st hand result. no matter wat time he does duty or need 2 wake up for work, i'll call him up. even thou i'm tired or not tired, i'll make sure i call him up at watever time he wans. n i do tis willingly. but dear dun appreciate. yesterday when i call him up, he juz say orh n ask abt the score n hang up the fone le. nvr even ask m i tired..haha but i dun blame him.afterall he is my dear. if i dun call him up, i still can call who up.
there's a sayin: the second you r willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, thats love right there...haiz.. if dear's happy tis way, guess i'll endure everythin even thou i'm miserable and sad. cos i want him 2 b happy, i want him 2 smile, i want the best in everything 4 him. cos dear, i luv u very much..n i miss u very much 2
The Only One...
Monday, June 12, 2006
missing dearie
nvr c dearie for 2days le...on sat he has duty. and actually we can meet up on sun de. but he say he is tired but i know he is lazy la.mayb cos of the distance between our hse. and oso cos he wans 2 rush hm watch world cup.and mayb oso cos he is very tight in cash tis mth le.miss him alot.. real lots.wonder do he miss me 2? guess nvr ba, if not he'll come find me le. really wish he cld b here huggin me now. duno when will i get 2 meet him. after tat sms incident, me n dearie haf been quarrelin alot. i duno wat happen 2 us. haiz...how i wish i cld turn back time. n how i wish dearie nvr did tat thing, mayb we will b happier now. sometimes i wonder do dearie really luv me or....hope i'm juz thinkin 2 much. but den sometimes, some things r juz 2 heavy 4 me 2 bare.i'm a human 2. and i'm juz like other gals, i nd dearie 2 b there 4 me, need his luv care n concern, need his suport n strength, most importantly i need him. haiz..but sometimes, he neglected me n my feelings. he oso negelected tat sometimes i do feel like cryin.
yesterday went clubbin while dearie on duty. n something stupid happen which piss me off. dun wana mention, dun even wan go bother abt it.
now its 5am but i'm still not tired. dearie is sleepin like a pig at hm now. match between portugal n angola juz ended. dearie got bet so help him keep watch.i know dearie got bet world cup and somtimes i'll tip in 2..so juz hope he wont lose.if better hope he will win some, cos he is very tight in cash tis mth.callin dearie up for work at 6.
dear...i miss u lots..i hope i can get 2 c u soon. haiz..but i dun dare put in much hope for wanting 2 c u soon. "wo xiang ni xiang de hao gu ji"... "wo shi zhen de zhen de hao xiang ni"...miss u till i'm goin mad le.(duno y i say tis 2 u here when i know u wun get 2 c it)
The Only One...
Saturday, June 10, 2006
2 weeks MIA
wow...been 2 weeks since i last blog...busy wif sch n common test. well common test ended on tues but it sux 2 the core man. gonna fail 1 of the paper. yep..having 2 weeks holi now. enjoy the 1st week. and 2nd week muz start studyin 4 retest le.haiz..if i pass both paper, dearie gonna bring me eat buffet..but now think "pao tang" le. hate projects 2. haf 2 do yr 3 project..but its soooo difficult...argh!!! damn those stupid projects.
moi dearie supposed 2 go sailin..but was cancelled last min. he say its gd but bad at the same time. gd cos he dun like his job. yupz..moi dearie is a reg in the navy. bad cos he cant save money. if he sail for 2 weeks, he can save some money cos he wun b spendin. dearie is very tight in cash tis mth...payin 4 his credit card bills(last mth n balance half of previous mth),car installment, hp bills(serve u rite dearie..who ask u oso need entertain other gals other then me), his car petrol(bt timah to ponggol), spendin on his baobei me. moi dearie very "kelian"..thou no need sail but still haf 2 work everyday n on top of tat do duty..he's so tired n yet still haf 2 acc me.
now is 6am...i still haf 2 endure for 1 n half hr more...cos gotta call dearie up for work at 730. its a sat but he has 2 do duty..poor thing...i'm so sad cos i cant b wif him 2day. i promise 2 b a gd gal 2day.argh..i'm so tired la...went watch soccer wif him juz now at east coast. Germany Vs Costa Rica. Germany won 4-2...tis is our 2nd time watchin soccer 2gather. the 1st time was when his all time fav liverpool played.poor dearie, we went hm ard 3plus n he slept ard 4.only 3 hrs of slp.think i'm stoppin here. tired! gonna find some things do 2 keep myself awake.
The Only One...