its 25 more days 2 christmas. every1 is happy tat christmas is comin n i shd b happy 2. but i m not happy or excited at all. how i wish christmas day wont arrived. i dun even haf e mood 4 christmas....

i used 2 like christmas alot... 4 the past 3 yrs, my christmas was wonderful... cos 4 the past 3 yrs, my christmas was spend wif the guy i luv most....kelvin. for the past 3 yrs every yr we wld go out count down 4 christmas etc... either wif frenz or us alone...b4 goin out, we wld 1st go 2 his aunt hse n haf a family celebration... its was wif him tat i 1st ate turkey n christmas log cake. its so delicious. his relatives wld haf all tis great food at their hse.then after eatin then we wld go out.

last yr christmas eve, we went count down in orchard wif his frenz... we walked almost the whole orchard takin photos etc... then after tat we went 2 party world ktv at chinatown. at 1st we were supposed 2 go shenton way's ktv but it was fully booked so 1 of his fren came 2 fetched us 2 chinatown. we had our countdown at the ktv.... its was very very fun....i enjoyed myself..

on christmas day itself, we went 2 his aunt hse in the evenin 2 haf the christmas gathering.... after tat we went 2 east coast... his frenz organised a bbq... we ate the bbq food again, played games etc... i was very happy on tat day....very happy tat i haf him wif me, very happy tat he cld celebrate wif me, very happy tat he did not haf 2 do guard duty.

but all these haf already passed... 1 yr passes le...this yrs christmas will b very diff for me. he wont b here celebratin wif me... he will b celebratin wif his frenz or gf i guess.... i dun wan 2 spend my christmas alone without him. i wana spend my christmas wif him but i noe its impossible...i dun wan go through tis... now i really dun wish 4 christmas 2 come. i dun wan really dun wan.... i m soooooooooo sad.... whenever i think of christmas or hear my frenz sayin how they gonna celebrate it i'll b very very sad n down..... i dun haf him 4 christmas... ppl ask me wat wld i like 2 haf 4 christmas.... i juz simply say....him! tis wld b my best present le.haaaa no 1 cld gif me tat present... i'll nvr ever receive it. sometimes i'll juz look out at the sky at nite praying silently, hoping tat i cld spend my christmas wif him... mayb even wif him & his frenz its ok... but tis hope n dream seems so far fetched fr me... wat can i do? haizzzzzzzzz............ if i couldn't spend my christmas wif him then juz hope tat christmas wont come ba....