I hate myself 4 everything
juz got back all my common test result... was quite satisfied.. hated 1 of the subs but manage 2 pass it cos i expected it 2 flung. was already havin e mood of restudying it 4 retest. thou i juz got 57 for it but m really happy... well e rest of e 3 papers me did quite well 4 it... esp maths hehe... me did exceptionally well...got 90 over... was juz expecting 2 get 70plus cos normally for e previous common tests my math wld only get abt 70...
haizz but so wat if i did well in my ct... i've no 1 but only myself n some close frenz or mayb not, 2 share tis joy wif me...he's not here 2 share my joy wif me.... cld still rem vividly the "darlin,I'm so proud of u" look on his face when i got my yr 1 end of yr exam result... really did very well tat time... he was so happy n soooo proud of me.... he even told his parents, relatives n frenz abt how happy n proud of me he was....i wanted so much 2 tell him my result now...wanted 2 c how happy n proud he is... but then again its GONE... gone 4eva... i know it wont b comin back again. i know i wont haf tis kind of feelin anymore. not anymore!!! i know no matter how much i missed n wanted he wont b back anymore. he's gone... he's now some1 else's.....n not mine anymore. I HATE TIS FEELING!!! I HATE MYSELF!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING U!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR MISSING U!!! it's hurtin me n i feel so hurt... i know u'll never understand how i feel cos to u it's only her n nothing else now...
The Only One...